Things We Say

Springtime is peaking through

Frozen

Will + the Ergo for the first time

This face

10 months old

Sweet Isabel has recently started saying something that sounds like 'no no no no no', to voice her {strong}will and opinions.

If she doesn't want more food, we hear: 'neh neh neh neh'.

 If she doesn't want to be put down: "neh neh neh neh neh'.

Had enough of her bottle? 'neh neh neh neh'.....

You get the picture.

I'm guilty of saying 'no no no' to her in a sort of sing-song-y voice when she is doing something like....eating dirt from the floor, trying to pull a lamp over... whatever.

So I'm not surprised that she's picked up on this.

When I mentioned her new 'word' to my husband, he wrote it off, 

and said that she was just 'experimenting w/ sound'.... 

Wellll... I think she's proven that she's smarter than Dada might reeealliiiiizee.  

{I'm sure it won't be the last time!!}

SO.... I've been thinking..... if babies pick up on words/sounds that they hear frequently.... what else might she be saying?  What other 'sounds' might she 'play with', which she hears us say frequently? 

I've had some ideas....

Things we say.... A lot.

+what's in your mouth?

+we don't eat those....

+what did you find????

+would you like a puff?  have a puff.

+can you say 'mamamamamama?'

+try one more bite

+it's bedtime nowww......

+still not time to wake up......

+where are you going??

+ sit on your bottom please....

+is that poop??

+what's in your hand?

 

and some things not necessarily directed towards le bebe........

+ Your turn

+you don't know tired

+but i'm more tired, i win

+ she pooped in the tub..again

+where's the pacifier? 

+that's your department

+My turn

+look at that face

And my personal favorite: 

+ you made me this way! 
{btw- this last one is kind of an inside joke.... we do actually love and respect each other :) }

 

I know that I'm missing some.. 

Do you have others to add?  

What's on repeat at your house?

I think our days of uncensored convo are numbered..... Because you know, little pitchers.. ;)

 

XX

 

Cassie

Saving Up

Something I'm learning about babies is that there are these little tiny moments and little tiny wonderful things that they do that make them uniquely babies.

I wish that I could bottle those up and save those little moments. 

And carry them with me.

They're not photograph-able, or video-able... 

They're those spontaneous little noises or
reactions or looks or
glances... 

They're those silly faces with the tongue and the eyebrows...

They're the sound of lips smacking together tasting new food. 

They're the songs of soft 'baba's' and 'dada's' coming from the back seat of the car.... 

They're the way that she rests her head on my shoulder and lays her arm across my chest as she's falling back to sleep... 

They're the slobbery 'kisses' that come lunging for you
across the bed... 

They're the scampering crawl 

towards the dog//trashcan//day-old puff//tall glass vase///
and towards you...

The look of excitement as she stands,
as she swings,
as she bounces.
Her soft snore...
Her sleep positions// bottom in the air,
horizontal,
face in my face.

The purest smiles.
The most carefree squeals.

I'm wrapping them carefully..
And saving them.
Because I know that the next day will be
flooded with more.


X

Cassie

A Snowcation//Scary Mommy

Last week, we got hit by that snowstorm.  The one that blanketed a lot of the East coast.  That one that left people stranded on the highway in Chapel Hill, NC.  It was a mid-week snowstorm, which is the best kind, because schools get canceled {pre-emptively}, work gets canceled {also pre-emptively, which is ideal, because you can plan for it, as we did ;) }, and you're left with a little mini snowcation.  Will and Izzy and I took it one step further, and got snowed in with our dear friends, Katie and Derek and their sweet baby boy Caleb.  If you're going to be snowed in, for, what feels like the 15th time this winter, then doing it with fun friends who have a sunny, baby friendly, roomy and cheerful house is the best way to go.  Because, let's face it, cabin fever is real, especially this time of year.
I try to avoid it at all cost.  

We had the best time- Will and Derek got to shovel lots of snow, make grocery store runs, and discuss whatever boys discuss.  

Katie and I let the babies do their thing, while we blabbed about important lady topics and caught up on... Vanderpump Rules, The Bachelor, Real Housewives, etc.  

They were the sweetest hosts, and if I didn't hate winter so much, I'd say it was perfect.  ;)
 {PS: Will, Katie, Derek and I were also snowed in years ago during THE Snowmageddon.  The one that buried cars. That was pre-baby era, even pre-wedding era.  So yes, whoa.... Katie and I agreed, looking back to that time, we felt like kids... and now we're raising them!  Ha!}

Katie and Caleb

Caleb, Izzy's newest heart-throb {sorry James ;)}

Katie and Caleb

Macy

Watching the snow

My favorite picture in the bunch!

Always on the move!!

 Also, if you follow Home & Sass on Facebook then you probably already know this, but I wrote something recently that was on the blog Scary Mommy. It's one of those, "How to Survive" sort of posts, about getting through your first job interview after having a baby {with some humor, because, duh, how else would that be surviveable??}.

Hope you like it!



XX

Cassie 

 

Equinox /// Happy 9 Months

This evening, post bath.  

Today our little ladybug turned 9 months old.  

{So, she's been on the outside for as long as she was on the inside... Thus, "equinox".}

It's becoming pretty clear that she's moving away from infancy and into..... something else...

At an alarming pace.

Isabel, between 8 and 9 months, you were very hard at work. 

You're now an accomplished crawler.  

You remind us of a puppy the way your crawl becomes something of a scamper, with panting, drooling, and a stop to gnaw on something, anything.  {yes, that shoe will do}.

You pull yourself up to stand with anything and everything.  You're perfecting your balancing, and working your muscles like a little ballerina at the bar doing plies-- up and down.  

You'll probably be walking in no time {feel free to slow this down though!}. 

Our house is slowly becoming Izzy-proofed... Because you have a knack for zero-ing in on the closest wire/hot thing/electrical outlet/ glass thing/ heavy thing/expensive thing/tall thing/.  

It's impressive, this skill.

You also started waving this week.  And the wave is quite possibly the cutest thing you've learned yet.  {Although the crawl is also really really cute}.  You love to wave.  You'll get everyone in the room waving, hi, goodbye, hello, oh yes I see youuuu! :) 

You've also started to eat a lot!  Sometimes I'm surprised at how much food you can put down, and each time I'm so proud.  Not to mention the fact that your palette is well on its way to great refinement. ;)

You love a game of peek-a-boo, or a little play chase, or a pretend wrestle. Your squeals and laughs are getting louder and more deliberate.  This is so much fun. 

I just can't believe you're 9 months already!  And am having a hard time finding the words.  {the fact that it's close to midnight is also part of the problem}.  But I wanted to be sure I got these things down. Today. 

Because tomorrow, you'll be 9 months and a day....

You're the most wonderful little creature Isabel, and we still pinch ourselves daily, because we can't believe how lucky we got with you.  

{And when you're sleeping, we miss you, and look at pictures of you.... #wearethoseparentswefeared}

So happy 9 month equinox to you sweet sweet girl. 

You're the moon & the stars.  

XO, 

Cassie 

Tonight, post-bath

Snow Angel

And Happiest Birthday to Will today!!!

XO

Cassie

The First 6 Months// things we've loved

I won't call this a must-have list, or even a list of baby essentials, because I think we all know what is really essential:  milk, love, and shelter. {like, duh}

This is my list of inessentials then// inessential items, that I really loved having.  We were fortunate to have been given most of these things, which I registered for painstakingly, after reading lots of product reviews, and other people's list of favorites {and I found this site very helpful, and subscribed to it, which I highly recommend for pregnant, first time moms} Making a registry can be overwhelming, with all of the baby products out there, especially to a new mom who is unfamiliar with Planet Baby.

I was going for good quality, but not break the bank good quality.  Practicality was a priority, as well as space saving.  We ended up with some seriously useful, durable, cute, and {of course} very well loved {by Izzy et al} baby {in}essentials.

SO, here she is, our first list.. bear with me on the labeling, but there are links to all of the pics, below the collage.. ;)

{oh, and I think I'm back to preferring the Izzy spelling over Izzie.... thoughts for the crazy lady?}

 1st row:  Beaufort Bonnet :: Jellycat bunny :: TBBC paci clips :: sound machine :: Britax travel system ::

2nd row:  Mum & Bub products ::123 swaddle blanket :: Aden & Anais swaddles blankets :: Ergo infant insert :: Ergo

3rd row:  Little Giraffe blanket :: Infantino playmat :: SwaddleMe :: FP Whale Tub :: Medela PISA

4th row:  FP Infant to Toddler Rocker :: Graco Pack & Play

5th row:  Gerber organic onesies :: Graco portable swing :: TBBC Changing Pad :: Sophie :: Violet

Ta-DAA!!!!  

So what do you think?  Agree? Disagree?  Have any questions?  Ask 'em// Tell me!  

{you can leave a comment below or email me at cassie.homeandsass@gmail.com}

XO

Cassie

7 months// Christmas Shopping @ Urban Outfitters

// Sweetest Isabel turned 7 months this week!!!  Here is some of what 7 months old contains for this little dumpling: {written to and for Isabellie}

- Your talking sounds are getting really good!!!!! "dadadadadada...... fafafafafafafa...... bababababa....huuuhhhh" {and that huuuuuhhh has sounded very much like a hello, more than a few times!!}

- The rolling across the floor continues, but is becoming more sophisticated! We've been very impressed with how you can get to where you want, with a combo of rolls and scoots.

- You want to crawl so badly, and I think you will be doing it very very shortly.

- A few times, I've said "give mommy a kiss"  and you do it!!!  Your signature, big open mouth cheek slobber.  This makes my heart melt like nothing else.

- I'm trying {half heartedly} to teach you sign language for "more" and "all done". The sign for "all done" just makes you laugh....

- Your obsession and love for doggies continues.... {they would love you back equally if you were better able to control your impulse to grab fistfuls of their hair}

-You can really sit up now!!! and seeing you sitting up on a chair, on the bed, in the middle of the floor, with your little legs bent so that  your feet touch {like a tripod}... I turn to mush.

- You've kind of outgrown your little whale bathtub.  Bath time is now a lot of me trying to keep you alive, as you try to stand and lunge for all of the cool bath stuff {faucet, drain, sides of the tub...}, no more lying prone and watching me sprinkle water overhead....

- And that leads me to this: You are such a busy little bee!!!... So curious, so active, so engaged.... everyone who meets you comments on this {and your good looks too of course ;)}

- Our naps together are the best.  An hour and a half, middle of the day /// Golden.

- You and I have got a  really special bond going, and it's pretty sweet. I was worried that my going back to work would affect it, but it really hasn't.  We have each other down.  We speak the same language, and you are my best, sweetest girlfriend.   {please refer back to these writings during your teenage years....}

So, happy 7 months to you Boo Bear!  We are so proud of you, and love you the MOST!!!

 

Photo is from our August beach trip.... Bonnet can be found HERE

 

 

// This week, I did a little bit of Christmas shopping, and decided to check out Urban Outfitters.  I have not set foot in an Urban Outfitters for years, and had forgotten how much random, interesting, kitchsy stuff they have.  The clothes seemed geared towards a younger, hipster-ish crowd {especially the men's stuff} but there were a number of pieces that I think I could've gone for.  Alas, Christmas shopping is meant to be for others, so I had no time to peruse what might've been....

I snapped a few pictures of some things that I thought should be shared....

Watch out for: ruched velvet, acid wash, a cozy sweater, a great camera, cat prints, shiny rainbow pants {I'm sure SJP could've pulled them off circa 2001 SATC}, floral print {calico?}, mason jar shot glasses {I don't drink, but am sure I could find some use for tiny mason jars!}, a little black dress, sequins, some really cute tops {LOTS of crop tops-- that is another blog post.... crop tops post age 17? post partem?.... ehhh}, and some pretty rocks {some as coasters}.  It reminded me of an artsy cousin to Goodwill//Anthropologie// your neighborhood thrift store//Spencer's {remember that place?}.  Kind of a, "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have...."  Urban Outfitters?  You be the judge. 

 

 

 

 Treasure hunting and wandering through weird interesting stuff is fun, right?  

 

 

 

XO

 

Cassie

 

 

 

 

 

Sleeping Woes

Sleep has NOT been normal over the past 7 months or so, and that is to be expected with an infant {so, I guess this is what we might call 'the new normal'}.  Izzie hasn't been a really great sleeper, but she's also not been a bad sleeper.  {She's actually a very easy baby, with a pretty laid back 'tude.}

So our recent sleep issues lately have thrown me for a loop.  At first, I chalked them up to the fact that we had been away from home for 2 long weekends in a row.  Til we got back home, and the sleep issues continued.
{**update:  I'm almost convinced that we're dealing with teething here...good news? yea!} 

Tonight as I'm writing this, I feel so torn.... And scouring books and babycenter forums for clues and suggestions. {that being said, those mothers who brag about their babies sleeping through the night should be permanently banned..}

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. 

I now understand this.

But letting Izzie "cry it out" also feels like a form of torture-- for both of us. 

Someone said to me recently, "A baby has never died from crying".  And I was left thinking, okay... so we are going for just slightly better??? {and in my sleepy fog, hearing the words death and crying in the same sentence did not help the matter- worst association ever perhaps?}.

Til now, I've been trudging through, thinking that I wouldn't need to resort to any Ferber-ish measures because everything would magically fall into place without a hitch.

And that has pretty much been the case. Until last week, when we went to Atlanta, and on into this week.  It's reached a point where I'm thinking that maybe she really does need to learn how to put herself to sleep, even if that means that she cries herself to sleep... because waking up every 90 minutes and needing mom there to fall back to sleep can't be good for her either.

But then I remember this huge cloak of guilt that colors some of my decisions....I feel guilty and sad that I'm leaving her with others for such a large part of the week, so the hours that I am home with her, leaving her to cry feel doubly hard. {um, impossible actually}

Admittedly, I have also created some "bad habits", which I then feel guilty about-- using the pacifier to fall asleep, bringing her into bed in the middle of the night, sometimes rocking her to sleep, the loose schedule that she has kept {which seems to shift every couple of months}... I've been told by other mothers that this is all normal, which I guess is comforting...? 

I don't want to foster an environment of neediness and clinginess; I want Isabel to be independent and self sufficient.  But on the other hand, I also want her to know that we are there for her always, and that she is loved, without anxiety or fear.   

When I started writing this, I was in the middle of a 5 minute interval of letting her cry.  She was on her 3rd wake up {3 hours after bedtime}. 

Hashtag: the pits.
Hashtag: the trenches. 
  Hashtag: I just wanted to scoop her up. 
Hashtag: I just wanted her to go to sleep. 

Once I did go and pick her up, her body relaxed immediately, she stopped crying and was asleep within 30 seconds.

I mean...... 

Hashtag:  I'm a puddle of mush.

My being a puddle of mush is, in this particular scenario {and I'm sure in plenty more to come} my kryptonite. Or maybe not?  {I'd like to think that being sensitive will be a strength...}

 



That's all I've got // Just a Cliff Notes version of what's been stewing in my brain for the past 48 hours. 

If anybody has an up to date instruction manual for babies, please pass it along.  I must've missed that somewhere along the way. 
Til then...We'll be getting through these teeth with some crying and lots of cuddling.
A healthy balance, I'd say ;) 

 XO

Cassie

Two Faced

{I'm going to try to explain something that is hard to explain. Please excuse and pardon run on sentences, vagueness, and rambling}

I've been having a problem since I've gone back to work, and have had trouble articulating it// to myself and to anyone else. But today I think helped to solidify the root of this problem.  Today, Isabel stayed home sick from daycare.  So naturally, I stayed home with her. 

The problem was, I have very little leave time available because I used up my stash during "maternity leave" {it's really scoffable that we even call it that when so many of us are just using accrued sick and vacation time to create a puny cobbled couple of months leave after giving birth to another human. whoops sorry. I'll try to lay off the italics, and melodrama ;) }. 

 I was worried because later this week, we have an out of town trip planned, so I'll be taking off a day for that// not to mention the holidays which are starting next week//I'll have to take some days for those too......

SO my point is, staying home today was not part of the plan, and even threw a little wrench into the "plan".  Today, Will and I decided that I would stay home for the first half of the day with Izzie, and then he would come home at lunch time so that I could go to work for the rest of the day.

 Problem was, when he got home, leaving Izzie// and our little nest of tissues, pillows, toys, coughs and sneezes was the absolute last thing I wanted to do.{I do not get paid enough to be motivated to leave that nest// that baby}.  I tried to do it though.  I brushed my hair, put on some work pants, and envisioned going there and putting on my work face for 5 hours or so....

 But Isabel had had a rough couple of nights, and this weekend we had learned that when she is touchy and sicky, she wants mom, and has a very hard time being calmed//comforted by dad. {I truly believe that this is related to her being a baby who loves to nurse, and still does// nursing = comfort. period.} 

SO, I sat there and pictured being at work, away from the sick baby nest// and knew that I would be mostly unproductive, distracted and sad.  I also was not so sure that I would actually be able to put on my work face, nor was I sure that I should.  I just knew that I needed to be there for my sicky bebe. 

My "issue" then, is this:  switching from mommy face to work face is hard, and is not seamless.  My brain tries to make the transition, but is often left feeling displaced// while my thoughts wander {sometimes endlessly} at work, to avoid really accepting the transition to work {because what do you do with the mom feelings? stuff them into a pocket for later I guess..?}. 

At home, with an hour and a half in the evenings to: enjoy Izzie, give her dinner, bathe her, and put her to bed// it's really hard to feel like I've been able to switch gears back to mommy mode// and in a way, I think this is an act of self preservation.... because if I were really feeling, absorbing and switching between these roles daily, I would get lost in the middle.  But aren't I already sort of lost in the middle?  Where does my "self" fit into this mess?  {and the mess includes more than being a mother and an employee-- there's being a wife, a daughter, a niece, a friend...} 

A  partial solution would be to make more of an effort to really be in the moment, whatever that moment may be.  {I need to practice my Ommm}  To not allow myself to escape into thoughts or daydreams, and to push myself to be fully present// in my work and at home.  But this also requires carving out some blocks of time that are "escapes", because really, who can be present and giving all of the time?  
It's a delicate balance, I'm finding.. And I'm clearly still looking for the right balance.
I may never find it {that perfect recipe}, and that's ok, but I can move closer towards finding it.
And in the mean time, I will be trying to merge my different faces {or masks?} into one fluid person, so that these transitions might become less transitional {and icky} and more.... smooth.
Peace and Love and Om. 

{By the way, disclaimer: I realize that this issue is not unique to me, nor is it unique to mothers, but I have only just started to notice it and to feel quite annoyed by it.}

Half of a Birthday

Isabel!

You've made it to 6 months, which means you are now halfway to one year old.  I'm totally alarmed at how fast this time is flying, and especially amazed at how quickly you're learning and growing. 

Here are some of the things that are going on in your world right now:

//You know your name!! {obviously though, duh, because you are very smart..you come from a smart tree, my little apple ;)}

//You're eating all kinds of vegetables these days {eggplant, sweet potato, broccoli, carrot, purple sweet potato, butternut squash...}. Just last week you ate an entire avocado.  "Delish!" you said. {jk, but really, I know you did}

//You make us laugh everyday. {at your cuteness/silliness/goofiness/bubble blowing/spitting/yelling/squirming/giddy kicking/ and your cuteness-- did I say that already?  did you get that? because we are obsessed with the cuteness, it should be noted}

//You laugh at us everyday!  {because we will be absurdly silly just to hear your giggles}

//When you're eating, we love to watch you open your mouth wiiiiide for the next bite {like a little baby birdie}, before the spoon is anywhere near your presh little mouth. 

//We LOVE hearing your talking, blabbing, babbling, shouting, yelling, singing, and ba-baa-ing. So many noises!!!Observe below:

// Picking you up from daycare is my favorite part of the day.  You greet me with a smile, a face grab, and a big ole open mouth smackeroo on my cheek.  {Daddy is way jeal of this-- I told him he needs to shave his whiskers for this treatment}

//You love practicing standing up.  Wobbly legs and all.  But, my little grasshopper, first we must crawllll.{and now I rhyme!  anybody want a peanut? ;) }

//Rolling is how you roll {get it?}.  We're not quite at the crawling stage, so the roll is how you get from a to b.  I've seen you roll across the length of your floor to get to something shiny.

//You had your first ear infection this week!  You handled it like a brave little toaster:

//You love storytime and bathtime at night. {each give a novel venue for sucking and gnawing on things-- 2 of your fave activities at the moment}

//You are sweet, serene, goofy, observant, patient, affectionate, flexible {in many ways}, strong, fearless, intelligent, and kind of an old soul.  I get the feeling that you've been around the block a few times already {hmm.. is that the right saying? or is that the dirty saying?... I blame sleep deprivation on my delirium...& now i'm talking to myself parenthetically... sorry Izzie} 

So... Happy Half Birthday to my sweet angel chickie baby.  I shudder to think that in no time, you'll be walking and talking.. and asking to borrow the car.  

You're the coolest girl around, and we love you SO MUCH!

XOXO!!

Mommy

Fearless

Being a mother, and becoming responsible for a tiny, helpless person's survival, is {well, duh} a major undertaking. Since becoming a mother, I've been introduced to a new kind of guilt and worry {and really, let's be honest, it started with pregnancy, before the baby was even born// it has something to do with being the protector of this tiny person. 
To me, it's worry on a larger scale than what I've known in the past {and looking back on my previous worries, I remind myself of a whiny teenager...}

These new feelings of {what should I call them? Maternal guilt?} usually centered around some item I had read about, which was the optimal way to carry a pregnancy//usually related to exercise, nutrition, stress, and anything else that may have a direct impact on the growing baby. 
So naturally, I proceeded to avoid all conflict at work {which is not easy in my profession}, for fear that confrontation would undoubtedly raise my blood pressure, and therefore lower my child's IQ {totally rational, righttt???}. I ate close to 7,000 hard boiled eggs, and 865 scoops of peanut butter, because I was paranoid about getting enough protein.  I fretted over the many spoonfuls of Nutella that I ate, because the sugar!! Was I giving my fetus a sugar high? Making her diabetic? Lowering her IQ still further?  Was I getting too little exercise?? {I walked miles at the end// my efforts to meet my Izzie sooner rather than later// but did very little, ie NOTHING during the other 2 trimesters} Or the fish and mercury problem! Did I have 2 servings of fish this week? Oh no! Did I unknowingly poison my child? Her IQ! Brain development!  Basically, I envisioned her being essentially perfect at the outset of her fetal journey, and saw my choices as either chipping away at this sacred perfection, or helping to further build it.  Completely healthy, right? I thought so.

Needless to say, I have learned to let go {a little bit}, and trust in God, and in others.  But this is still a work in progress.

Now that Isabelie is here, there are new ways to make myself feel guilty/bad/paranoid/unworthy.
On any given day, I feel guilty for sending her to daycare while I am at work 40 hours a week {if I had been more successful, I could've prevented this, right?}
// Guilty for wanting time to myself, even though I'm not with her for 40 hours out of the week
// Guilty for sometimes looking forward to her nap times
// Guilty for not spending every waking minute with her. 

Rational me knows that, in order to be healthy, and to be fully present and functioning optimally {for her} I do need time for just me.  Because caring for others constantly, at work and then at home, is positively draining.  And in order to be the best mom, wife, daughter, counselor, whatever, I do actually need some guilt free time just for me.  Without fear of being less than perfect.  And that's what I would like to teach my Isabel..
To be fearless.
 Like her mama?
Yes, like her mama.

XO 

Cassie