I don't know if it was the rain, or the music on the radio, but this morning I felt like I was playing a part in a French movie { 3 parts sad, 1 part pensive, 2 parts love}.
Just as I got into the car, my phone buzzed with an email. It was somebody wanting to buy my bookcase {yes! excitement!}// Then I read further// This person wants to buy it so that they can strip the paint and refinish the wood.....Yes, you read that correctly....
But moving on.
The drive to daycare was particularly gloomy, listening to the classical station {because that will make Izzie smart, non?} // AND it was a Monday morning, which is even more triste than others-- without the heavy gray blanket of Fall clouds, and of course without the arrival of a dream-crushing email { it helps if you let yourself really wallow in the gloom ;) }
Then, just as we pulled up to daycare, the clouds decided to open up and start pouring. Raining. Heavily. Buckets. And in those few moments where I sat there in the car, with the music playing, and Isabel in the back seat making her quiet little baby noises... It felt like time stood still for a minute. I pictured driving off into the sunset, saying bon voyage to you much too hectic city life... But that wouldn't happen, not even in a movie//not even in a French movie.
So I got myself out of the car {cue the soaking of the clothes & hair } to carry Izzie in her heavy-as-a-bag-of-bricks carseat // her bag of milk-blankets-bottles// and her ginormous bouncy chair.
The most difficult point of all of this being that moment when Izzie watches me walk out of the daycare room with her big blue eyes....
Knowing that I won't see her til midnight {for her late night milk party} is so hard, but knowing that she doesn't know or understand all of this coming and going, is even harder. The hardest.
I will become more accustomed to this, and it has already gotten much easier...
We're all okay, and doing what we should be doing....
I think it must've been the rain.
{Cue the sad music..}
XO
Cassie
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