Forests for Trees

That saying, the one about not being able to see the forest for the trees..It's been on my mind a lot over the past couple of weeks.

I've been thinking about it.... as it relates to different issues, different angles.... Separate ideas and conflicts... 

Although, maybe, since we're talking forests, the issues are all related.  {well duh, Cassie}

I've been thinking about what it means, to not see the forest for the trees....

And have shouted in my head: "NO!  You're missing the forest!!!". 

It's true that we each have different forests//our own forests// different sorts of forests//different views on forests//different dreams for our forests//different relationships with our forests.

But I find myself wanting to focus on the trees, and having faith that if I give my all to the trees, then there is no way that the forest could falter//wilt//be stunted// fail.

I don't necessarily want to focus on the forest.. Nor do I want to give in to the push to grow and capitalize and keep up with the forest's status quo.  {maybe we've taken on the wrong forest//a too large forest} 

Where is the joie de vivre in that? If we are so busy just keeping things alive....making more....working for more, then won't we miss all of the nuances in the changing seasons?  Will we be too tired to care about or absorb.... life? The little things?
{The trees} 

We'll be too busy to notice that this is even happening.  

And then what good will it be to have all of these trees, if we can't even savor them?

And excuse me but, what about visiting other forests??
I want to travel to other forests, dammit!! (:

#lordhelpmebalancetheforestsANDthetrees

#weallhavemanyforests

XO,


Cassie

 

Mid January Pics

This week has been a busy one.  We've had 1 very special birthday dinner, 2 perfect girls brunches, 1 rambunctious playdate, and 1 winter storm warning {currently.. along with the return of the polar vortex}.

Eh. Snow is beautiful and all, but it is most definitely not my love language. 

Izzy lately:

Playdate with Ruut {and her girls}:

Brunch at the Four Seasons for Kelly's baby #3 {!!!!):

THE most divine ribs  For Our Dadoo's Birthday



XO

Cassie

Answered prayers/// A dead batt

Last night, I had some major Sunday sadness feelings.  This Monday morning would've been Izzy's first day back to daycare in 2 weeks.  It would be the start of our first full work week since before Christmas. After Monday morning, I wouldn't see her awake until Tuesday afternoon.  I've managed to get through these months, sending her off to daycare, by telling myself that we still spend a lot of time together.  I've adjusted my schedule so that I work 4 days a week, 10 hours each of those days.  {6 am to 4 pm most of the days}.  Will calls this my fireman's schedule.  I love it because it give me 3 full days at home.  2 days was just NOT cutting it. So, this is working better.  But those sad feelings still creep out of my subconscious, and invade my days.  I try to ignore them, and push them away, they're always there lurking-- sometimes quieter, sometimes louder..  Like last night.  I started thinking about going back to the cold harsh reality that is my job, and Izzy going back to daycare all by her little self.  Isn't she much too tiny to be sent off to fend for herself?? Are they going to read her a story before naptime like we do?? Are they going to praise her when she pulls herself up on something???? Will they love her enough??

It all just feels lonely and empty and grey and sad and cold.  But then, that's also January embodied.  

I guess you could say I was ruminating.  Stewing.  But I started thinking about how, even if tomorrow, I quit my job and said to hell with these sad, yucky, dumpy feelings, and was able to, from that day on, spend each day with Isabel.... I'd never get these last 5 months backs.  Those 5 months are history.  And all of those little moments that make up each day, those are gone.  Because in a baby's life, in a baby's day, there are these tiny little moments that are the most important ones-- a shared grin, a surprise belly laugh, frustration turned to determination turned to a new skill, those slobbery kisses from out of the blue, the babbling..the sweet touches... her backward glance to make sure you're still there in the room with her.... Missing any of that is heartbreaking.  Heartbroken.

SO that is the path I took last night.

Cold. Sad. Gloom.

I considered calling in sick today.  I prayed that something could change.  Some circumstance, some way for us to shift gears and enjoy more of those little moments together.  

Greedily. 

So I told myself to soldier through and pushed those thoughts back to their depths, so they might surface next Sunday night, or the following. 

And then this day happened.

When I went out to my car in the morning, carrying Izzy in her 80 pound carseat, my car didn't start.

I turned the key, and nothing happened.  No lights, no engine, nothing.  Tried again.  And again. And again. Nothing.  

Never ever have I  been so happy for my car to not start.  

Will was already at work, with important meetings throughout the day.  

So we were stuck.  

So happily stuck.

And it was the best bonus day.  

Someone was listening.

Thank you.  

 :) 

It turned out that my car had a dead battery.  From the cold I think.  

When I texted my mom to tell her that the car had a "dead batt"-- she assumed there was an actual DEAD BAT in the car.  Wouldn't you? 

Her texts were: "don't pick it up!!"  "dangerous!!"  "sanitize!!!!!!"  

Fun.  

XO

Cassie 

A Visit /// Some Snow

A few days ago, my parents came to watch Izzy for the day.  Grandparents make the best babysitters.  Isabel spends every Thursday with a grandmother {they alternate weeks and come to our house.  We are so so thankful and lucky and glad and grateful that they do this for us}.  This is really the best day of the work week for us, and we hope for the grannies too :) Knowing that Isabel is home with one of our moms gives me such peace of mind.  It's also nice because we get a break from packing up her bag of baby gear {bottles, bibs, food, milk, diapers, passport, birth certificate, kitchen sink,  etc} it's an at-home granny service. .

My dad & bear sometimes come along.  And then it's a real party.  

And this week, there was snow after they left. 

Izzy has a good grip

Handsome Bear

Izzy has very eclectic taste in records

 

{And- Downton Abbey returns tonight. FINALLY}
 

XO,

Cassie