I'm writing this blog because I have found myself wishing that I could find a "mom blog" that I can relate to (granted, I haven't looked all that hard).... I've come across quite a few blogs lately that are written by women who are able to stay home with their little ones. As they describe life via blogging, they can spend time shopping (clothes for themselves, clothes for baby, home furnishings, beauty products...), decorating the house//cooking delicious meals// and then documenting in writing and photos all of these mommyish exploits. Now that I am back at work, and filled with so many emotions related to being a "mom who works outside the home", I read these blogs in a new light. Part of me feels so envious, because I want to do these things// I want to be able to spend actual time shopping and preparing yummy dinners// I want to be able to arrange, clean and organize the house just so// I want to have the luxury of not rushing out of the door in the mornings (usually forgetting something) with a sweet baby (and all of her accoutrements) in tow// the list could really go on and on. But the number one thing I want, is to be able to spend all of that precious time with my little Isabel. Going back to work was heartbreaking, and every day, I rush, in hopes that we might make it back earlier this afternoon so that I can have just a few extra minutes with her before she falls asleep.
I totally get that these women (these "mom bloggers") cannot possibly be leading the life of perfection and happiness that I have gleaned from their blog posts..... But they sure do have a pretty important ingredient that I am missing, along with a lot of other mothers who go back to work out of necessity. Being without the choice of staying home with my tiny, perfect baby felt like a jail sentence (no exaggeration- sorry for the melodrama). It is a loss of freedom like nothing I have ever felt. The idea of paying someone else to care for my child, while I work at a job that barely helps us afloat, seemed so, unequivocally wrong, and still does.
But the point of this blog is not to give myself a forum to sit and complain. My goal is to use this as an outlet, and hopefully to give others an outlet. I know that I would personally love to read another mother's account of raising a child while working outside the house, because it always makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in this struggle (duh). There is something so cathartic in being able to relate to others (duh)......
Soo that's my beginning here.
I also have a feeling that no one will read this, and it will end up being my own personal diary. But that's helpful too :) And fun.
xo
Cassie
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